Most of us have a laid-back attitude when it comes to painting a picture of ourselves, thinking about the future, reliving the past, and focusing on the things in life that make us feel bad.  Simple, negative, or unwanted thoughts can keep you from enjoying the experience, distract you from important things, and drain your energy.  These can cause you anxiety and frustration.  The good news is that through dedicated practice you can replace negative types of negative thoughts with thoughts that really help.  It can make a big difference to your daily happiness and comfort.



 Here are some ways to manage (and reduce) your negative thoughts:

 Recognize distortions of thought.  There are smart and unshakable ways in our minds that are not really true for us.  This misconception reinforces negative thinking.  If you recognize them, you can learn to challenge them.  Here are four common perceptions:

  • Thinking in black and white.  Show something in another way, without doing any of that
  • Customizing.  Assuming that you are guilty of something that went wrong, as if you think that no one smiled at you because you did something to upset them.  (The person is probably having a hard time and his mood has nothing to do with you))
  • Filter the thought.  Choose the negative side of a situation.
  • Catastrophic.  Assuming it will be the worst result.


 1. Challenges of negative thinking

 Whenever you have a distorted thought, stop and assess whether it is correct.  Think about how you would react if a friend talked about you that way.  They will probably offer a good rebuff for your negative attitude.  Apply the same argument to your own thoughts.  Ask yourself if you are holding on to something bad or blaming yourself for something you did not want.  And then think of other possible outcomes or factors that were different than what you expected.

 
2. Take a break from negative thoughts

It is possible to learn to distinguish negative thoughts.  One way to do this is to allow yourself a certain amount of time (maybe five minutes) to think.  Then take a break from concentrating on it and get on with your day.

  

3. Judgment 

We all judge ourselves and others, usually unconsciously.  Constantly comparing ourselves with other people or comparing our lives with the dissatisfaction of some ideal clan.  You are probably most comfortable when you can judge (not easy, but possible).  Some ways to take a break from judicial thinking include acknowledging your own reaction, observing it, and then letting it go.  Another useful strategy is "positive judgment."  When you notice that you are judging a person, yourself, or a situation in a negative way, look for a positive quality.


4. Practice gratitude

 Research shows that feeling grateful has a huge impact on your level of positivity and happiness.  Even when you're going through a difficult time in your life, you can usually find things (even small ones) to be thankful for.  Noticing things that are going well and making you happy will keep you in touch with them.  An easy and effective way is to keep a gratitude journal and write a few things in it every day.

 

5. Focus on your strengths

It is part of human nature to focus on the negative and ignore the positive.  The more you can practice focusing on your strengths and not focusing on the mistakes you've made, the easier it will be to feel positive about your life and the direction you're taking.  If you find that you are thinking a lot about your personality or your actions, stop for a moment and think of yourself however you want.